I've always used the Groza carbine.
the choice of the vaunted spetsnaz.
My mother hates squirrels--
those geranium sniffing, candidates
for warfarin, silly-toed
skink fan dancers,
those bushy-tailed tarts
who tear up her yard
and across the eaves of the attic.
Her dwarf Bartlett pear,
now leafless in March,
contains a rotunda of squirrel,
properly nested, a gathering of leaves,
a trompe l'oeil cookie jar,
seemingly empty, but extant
and threatening
to at any moment discharge
vermin and pestilence onto her lands
in the form of scampering rodent.
We have three pool skimmers,
converted to crab poles,
kept in a shed by the side.
I tape them together,
(I watch Red And Green)
and Flying Wallenda them up.
I'm whaling and flacking
to knock down this glob,
when mother turns white as a sheet
as squirrel babies, flustered
from winter repose, smack ground
and lay stunned at her feet.
Quick, call the squirrel lady!
She's one of my friends.
Her number's right there in my book!
The old softie inside
is starting to cry
as I rush to the kitchen
to look.
***************
the choice of the vaunted spetsnaz.
My mother hates squirrels--
those geranium sniffing, candidates
for warfarin, silly-toed
skink fan dancers,
those bushy-tailed tarts
who tear up her yard
and across the eaves of the attic.
Her dwarf Bartlett pear,
now leafless in March,
contains a rotunda of squirrel,
properly nested, a gathering of leaves,
a trompe l'oeil cookie jar,
seemingly empty, but extant
and threatening
to at any moment discharge
vermin and pestilence onto her lands
in the form of scampering rodent.
We have three pool skimmers,
converted to crab poles,
kept in a shed by the side.
I tape them together,
(I watch Red And Green)
and Flying Wallenda them up.
I'm whaling and flacking
to knock down this glob,
when mother turns white as a sheet
as squirrel babies, flustered
from winter repose, smack ground
and lay stunned at her feet.
Quick, call the squirrel lady!
She's one of my friends.
Her number's right there in my book!
The old softie inside
is starting to cry
as I rush to the kitchen
to look.
***************
